An 18th-Century Literature major, Marvelavious Baulls is also a football ballcarrier of unparalleled power and skill. Athletically, he is the Jim Brown of his generation—only bigger, faster, and without the Kufi cap. The writer James Thurber once described a certain running back’s style as a “kind of a cross between music and cannonfire and it brought your heart up under your ears.” Marvelavious was like that—only the music was a symphony.
As a true freshman at Blue Ridge University, he rushed for an NCAA-record 3,588 yards in eleven games—with a fat-ass offensive line that couldn’t block for shit. He was Superman, but his Kryptonite was his hands. He couldn’t catch a pillow, and he had an ill-timed fumble in the college national championship game that sparked an irate guest editorial in the campus newspaper by a BRU student.
The student was Otis Hoak.
Marvelavious did not take kindly to Otis’s diatribe, and the two became enemies until circumstances at The Honor Tap brought them together and forced them to solve their differences.
(Since Marvelavious did not accompany Otis and company on the trip to New Orleans, there is no official record of his Good and Bad lists. However, Otis might cross paths with Marvelavious in the future, and he's sure to delve into the subject then.)
The Marvelavious dossier
BUILD: Think of Superman, but more muscular: Six-foot-two, two hundred and fifty pounds, with an afro
PRIMARY STYLE OF DRESS: Postgame, tasteful three-piece suits of gray or navy, with some kind of plum or violet shirt and matching tie
MOST STRIKING PHYSICAL FEATURE: An envy-provoking lack of body fat
VOICE: A cross between James Earl Jones and Samuel L. Jackson
BEST TRAIT: Iron will
WORST TRAIT: Disappointment with those less gifted than him, which is pretty much the rest of the human race
IDIOSYNCRASIES: Always has to cut the tags off his clothing because of his sensitive skin
FAVORITE MOVIE: Coming to America
MOVIE CHARACTER: Winston Wolfe from Pulp Fiction
MONSTER: Creature from the Black Lagoon
BOOK: Black London: Life Before Emancipation, Gretchen Holbrook Gerzina
MUSICAL ARTIST: Marvin Gaye
SNACK: Mom’s fried apple corn muffins
MEAL: Mom’s macaroni and cheese
DESSERT: Dutch apple pie topped with grated cheddar cheese and butter pecan ice cream
IDEAL WOMAN: Doesn’t watch sports; has no idea who I am
IDEAL DAY: Just some peace and quiet, time to kick back and read, and be surrounded by my family and loved ones